A FAINT WAILING IN THE WILDERNESS
My mind in a turmoil… A tumult of shifting impulses
Cannot find my direction
No compass for my moods and feelings
Exhausted by the world
Uninspired by pointless meandering
Facebook, email, news media, social media, daily events
No one to share the concerns in serious private face to face
Friends unavailable, too busy with their own
Lives going by, days wasted on wandering the wasteland
Of a world gone insane
I need to talk about it, but fear getting into arguments
Fear that those I call friends are on the ‘wrong side’
Hate feeling judgmental
But some things need to be judged, must be found wrong, must be stopped
Before it’s too late, before all are lost
In a never-ending desert of hate and war and racism and misogyny and greed
I wander room to room, seeing all the projects waiting, half done
Plans not coming to fruition, energy flagging, inspiration flattened
Hope held at bay, not allowed entry by me wavering between one and another
Write or sew, read or weed, get out and go somewhere or stay home and hide
I sit down to read
It rains.
The political Armageddon weighs on me
I want to talk, to share my feelings and the things I am reading, thinking, hearing
But almost no one I know seems to care, or dares say they do
I become paranoid, imagining who, of the people I see daily, might be ‘one of them’
The Enemy… I never thought in terms of enemies, try not to take things personally
But it is time to get personal about the pending possible end of life as we know it
The fact that so many are willing to mindlessly back a certified narcissistic maniac
For president of The United States
The fact that so many simply hate a woman leader
Because she is smarter and more truly experienced at the political game
But then some encouraging articles came under my eye in the midst of these blahs
First, an interview (*1) with a man who spends much of his life wandering in the desert
Gaining wisdom, writing about it later.
Craig Childs learns from nature,
From the rocks and animals and plants and sky and sand dunes
He says that there is never an end, because the end is always happening…
No Apocalypse.
Because things never terminate in an instant, but in many, many moments over time
And while some things are ending, new things are beginning
Civilizations fall, but they don’t stop
They continue on in new forms rising atop the old, or in new places
Something always carries on. Earth survives. I find that hopeful.
In the same issue, I find some mesmerizing pictures of ancient desert and night skies
Taken in remote Southwest USA by Photographer Marc Toso. (*2) www.ancientskys.com.
These take me away from the confusion of my inner wilderness
Into an awareness of the magnificence of our planet… especially those parts less inhabited
The natural wilderness…a place of endless miracles
Still yet another article, by Coleen Carlstedt-Johnson (*3)
brings me back to the core of my own wandering
She writes in defense of Democratic presidential candidate, Hillary:
“Can we please just stop playing the ‘man card’?”
Taking aim at Trump’s ‘warning’ to Hillary not to play the “woman card”,
Carlstedt-Johnson presents strong counter-arguments to
Inanely ignorant ‘objections’ and misogynistic criticisms aimed at the woman candidate,
A brilliant, knowledgeable, experienced person, not without flaws and mistakes
But nothing different than every male person who has run for or won the presidency
Yet dirty politics prevail, allowing the ignorant masses to believe blatant lies
Forever playing the Man Card in every sphere of life. The sheer stupidity of it!
The amazing dirty farce that our politic has evolved into
My frustration at the craziness… the blindness… the pathetic waste
While Hillary tries to reach out and unite the party
Bernie misleads his inexperienced young followers into an idealized utopian wilderness
From which they may never find their way back home to reality
Splitting a relatively united Democratic front into mindless warring factions,
He is bringing us closer to the nightmare wasteland of a Trump presidency
Letting the unthinkable happen, all for the sake of his own little Man Card ego.
Doom and gloom. It makes me furious.
I must find my way out of this jungle of despair
Get back to my own daily wander-land where I quietly contemplate,
Read, create, imagine, dream, play… in hope, good humor, with patience.
Just being me, trying to make a small difference
A tiny faint voice in the backwoods.
~ Later then. Writing helps.
(*1) SUN magazine, June 2016, issue #486
(*2) www.ancientskys.com.
(*3) Minneapolis Star-Tribune editorial. May 26, 2016,)
Keep on keepin’ on, my friend ~ As another friend told me when I was feeling low, “You’re not alone, not even close.”
Mary
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Always so good to get your feedback and know you are there! Thanks and hugs to you!
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