A LAZY-BUG MUST HAVE BIT ME THIS WEEKEND
For the past four days I have felt totally “listless”… yes, I made no lists of things to do… didn’t even want to think about all that stuff… I felt exhausted by the effort I have been making recently to get things on a roll at several level of my life and then getting stalled in most of them. I had prepared and planned and thought things were set to go, but then something has happened, or not happened, to prevent the final closure of each task.
I was blaming my own lack of energy and feeling really down on myself. It got bad enough that on Sunday morning I actually had a major crying jag over a stupid issue with my outside cats. My favorite had been scared away by another one who has babies it’s protecting. Later, things seemed to work out okay as my favorite did come back, but at the time it seemed hopeless to me. That’s how stupidly depressed I was! . (See a new page under the “All About Me” Page to learn more about those Outside Cats and my hassles regarding them…)
I needed a break from everything so I spent two days just reading and playing online, then yesterday a friend was over for lunch and we had a good visit that put me in a better mood. I think it is helping.
Today I returned to one particularly onerous task involving the sorting and filing of items stacked on my desk. I got most of it cleared away and that really feels good. Although it was not a major item on my do-list, I realize now that it was a nagging “should thing” that was getting in the way of my motivation to proceed with some other projects. This is hardly the final solution, but a good step in the right direction.
Now I feel very eager to get back to my job at WalMart and into a different place in my head. I am chagrined to realize how much I really need to keep working that job, not just for the money, but for the diversion it provides from my own issues and for the casual people-contact that it always brings. I need something to get me away from myself!